“I don’t need my name in lights”

A few months ago my husband asked a probing question:

What would you do if you woke up famous?

Like everyone-knows-my-face-and-name famous, I questioned.
Yep, he responded, like that.

He was intent on an answer.  And I was quiet, searching for one. Then.

I’d be lying if I said I don’t want success. That I don’t want to be recognized for talents I believe I have. But famous?? That is entirely different.

Contrary to what I may seem, I am an introverted person. I love flying under the radar, allowed to notice and not be noticed. I love peace and quiet. I love being with myself–wholly–even in the dark moments when I’m skillfully negotiating the craggy peaks of my heart’s hurt. I love being allowed that luxury, the luxury of figuring out who I am without the noise of others telling me who they think I am.

Surely, that doesn’t mean there aren’t those in my life who try to make their truth my own.  There are.  But at least they know me. They aren’t complete strangers who take issue with the way I cut my hair, what I choose to eat, or worse…who attack my sacred personhood because of something they read or watched on t.v.

So that famous??
No. Thank. You.

Then last week, while driving to meet a girlfriend for lunch, I was heart hit by a song on the radio:

I don’t need my name in lights
I’m famous in my Father’s eyes
Make no mistake
He knows my name
I’m not living for applause
I’m already so adored
It’s all His stage
He knows my name

As I drove through tears, I realized I’m already famous to a precious and cherished few. They know my name and more than that…they know my heart. That is why the song moved me.  Because it spoke to one of my deepest truths: on any given day, I’d prefer to be Known than known of.

That is my heart’s scripture. Today. Tomorrow. And forever.

I don’t know what the next few years will bring. And I don’t know where my talents will take me, but it doesn’t matter.  I am Known.  And that knowing is more fame than I ever dreamed of.

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